fall

The weather's a changin' and bringing on nostalgic butterfly feelings for me. The last few mornings as I've awoken, finding myself buried a little deeper under the covers and a little more reluctant to leave the warmth of my bed, I've had just-like-it-was-yesterday flashbacks from falls gone by. Some of the best times of my life, so far, happened in the fall.

Going to College
In the Fall of 1991 I made the huge trek of 45 miles from home to start my new life in the beautiful Texas hill country town of San Marcos. My parents drove me up, helped me get my stuff into the dorm room and then departed. That was the first moment it dawned on me that I was on. my. own. Terrifying with all its potential. And I knew not a soul. But things quickly turned around when I found out my roommate was the funnest girl I'd ever met and we became fast friends. A moment of zen occurred on our first trip up I-35 to the metropolis of Austin. I had not been there in years, especially not as an 18 year-old, dressed in a tight little dress from Express. As I sipped my wine cooler in the back seat on the way there, I could see the lights appear on the horizon and thought "There it is..." Austin. WOW. Next thing I knew we were heading toward the famous 6th Street. It was 11 at night and the party was just getting started. And I could be out as late as I wanted. I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of elation and freedom and thought, "Surely I'm going to die. Life can't be this good. It must be about to end for me." A cowboy walked be me and said, "You must have stole all the stars from heaven and have them in your eyes.." or something cheesy like that. It was from a Garth Brooks song but it didn't matter. I felt so cool. My roommate and I went bar hopping and dancing and even though we had to wear obnoxious bands to show we were underage, we still had a good time. If you know what I mean.

Meeting my husband
In the Fall of 1992, I was dating a guy who was all wrong for me but I wasn't smart enough to know it yet. I went with him to a friend's house and was in the back yard spending time with my pet turtle (seriously), while the guys loaded up a boat or something. Next thing I know, they said their new friend D was there. I walked over to meet him and can still distinctly remember shaking his hand. I was very shy at the time and remember being embarrassed that I had my turtle with me. And that I was carrying it in a basket. But apparently that didn't scare him off. We didn't officially date for another two years but that's another story...

Moving to College Station
We got engaged in May of 1997 and that Fall I decided to move to College Station, Texas, to be closer to my soon-to-be husband. Paying $300 phone bills had gotten old really quick. He had a business there and I figured I would end up transferring to Texas A&M to finish my degree after we got married. Anyway, we, I mean I, oh what does it matter, we've been married almost 9 years now, Mom...WE rented out a double-wide trailer in the tiny town of Millican, on the outskirts of College Station. It had a huge oak tree in the front and the walls were about 1/2 an inch thick. In the Texas heat it would heat up like a greenhouse. We were so broke it wasn't even funny. It is now, but it wasn't then. I had a job at the Aggie Ring office making about $6.50 an hour and he was struggling to keep his doors open. But we were so young and naive that we weren't terrified, as we should have been. We ate lunch out way too much and floated checks to pay for it. We were making plans for our wedding in the spring.

First Baby
We didn't wait long after getting married before deciding to start a family. In the Fall of 1999 we had been trying for about 8 months and were getting worried. We had just about decided that maybe the time wasn't right and I should get back on the pill when it finally happened. I remember going to the grocery store after work to buy a test and I think I already "knew". I heard the song "Say a Little Prayer" on the radio and was singing along. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the air was just starting to change. I went home, took the test and set it on the counter to wait. I opened the flier included in the test that showed the development of a baby in the womb. I was engrossed in the material when I glanced over at the test and my heart stopped. Glaring back at me was the brightest red line I had ever seen. What. On. Earth? I had taken so many tests over the past few months and spent time squinting at the results, hoping that maybe I was seeing a little bit of a line...I had never imagined it would be so...real. My legs went weak and I was filled with joy and terror at the same time. It felt like the beginning of a roller coaster ride. There was no getting off now. I went to our bedroom and got on my knees. I prayed like I hadn't prayed in years. A prayer of thanks and a prayer for guidance in the years to come. I knew things were never going to be the same, I just didn't know to what level they would be changed. You just can't know it until you've lived it.

Cheers to the Fall.