big questions from a little boy

On a visit to my husband's office last week the boys were making the rounds, visiting his fellow employees and trying to get as many goodies as possible from them. My oldest son, who has a recent fascination with how old people are (he knows the age of everyone on our block including their pets), was hanging out in one woman's cubicle and inquiring about the photos of her kids. I saw him ask her something and suddenly he made a bee-line toward me and had a strange look on his face. I heard her say, "Don't worry...that doesn't happen to many people..."

We went on to the break room to eat lunch and finally he blurted out what was on his mind. My husband's co-worker had a son who had died of cancer at the age of ten. Of course, that was shocking to a six year-old and he had lots of questions.

"Why did he die?"
"Where is he now?"
"Will that happen to me?"

I tried to appear as if the whole idea of a child dying didn't make me want to run. Like I wasn't terrified just speaking about it, feeling that even acknowledging it might invite such a tragedy to visit our doorstep.

We talked about heaven and God and I assured him that the boy had something much worse than the flu. I said that I knew his mom and dad missed him terribly but they would be together again someday in heaven.

He seemed a little calmer but I felt a little unsettled. I thought of the boy's mother. Every time I'd met her she was smiling and exuded a sense of warmth and joy. I knew she was a Christian and obviously her faith saw her through. I wondered if I could be as peaceful and content as she appeared, even after the loss of a child. To be able to trust whole-heartedly that it happened for reasons only known to God.

As a Christian, it's easy to spout rhetoric, but walking the walk is a little different. Could I handle something like that with grace? Or would my faith be shaken to the core? And as Christian, since I can rest assured that there is life after death for me and my family, why does the thought of it strike fear in my heart?

The next day I was browsing in a gift shop and saw a sign with a quote I'd never heard before:

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world had ended, he turned into a butterfly."

I'm a big fan of good quotes and the timing of that one was impeccable. It seemed like God was reading my mind and had sent a message just for me.

It comforted me to be reminded that there is a spiritual metamorphosis through physical death. The caterpillar is a living metaphor for our heavy, earthly body that will be transformed into the light, free spirit of a butterfly someday. The darkness of the cocoon is like the mystery of death. But thankfully, it's a mystery with promise.