mean girl

Back in high school, I was on the dance team. The part I loved about it was dancing at the football games and cheering for our team. The part I hated about it was the catty girl culture.

For some reason I tried out for officer when I was a senior and actually made it. I wasn't nearly as good of a dancer as some of the girls but I had a few things going for me:

1. I was squeaky clean. Unlike a lot of the girls, I didn't go to parties and get drunk on the weekends.
2. I wasn't pregnant. This seemed to be something that happened to more than our fair share of team members.
3. I could read and write above a 7th grade level.

Anyway, I was painfully shy and it was waaay out of my comfort zone to be "in charge" of the other girls. I had to issue demerits for infractions such as having a run in your suntan color pantyhose or wearing the wrong leotard. I pretty much had chronic diarrhea my entire senior year from the stress of it all. Nice. At least it kept me skinny!

Also, the girl who was the lead officer ("Colonel") had it in for me because her best friend did not make officer and she thought it was my fault. Her friend was a better dancer but was also one of the ones who could not read/write above a seventh grade level. So the Colonel made it her business to taunt and embarrass me when she could. She took the whole dance team thing very seriously and could not tolerate a less than perfect dancer. The whole idea of it being for fun didn't seem to factor into her plans.

One day, toward the end of our senior year, the entire team was rehearsing for the spring show. The junior girls were given some responsibility since they were about to "take over" and they were teaching a new dance to everyone else. The Colonel and the rest of the senior officers were watching and the Colonel kept talking loudly and laughing and basically distracting the rest of the girls who were trying to teach and learn. I remember it was blatantly rude and even I, with my severe aversion to speaking up, had to say something. So I said something very benign like, "Hey, maybe we should go around the corner to talk so we don't interrupt them." To which she said something along the lines of, "Maybe you should just shut up." And she went right back to blabbing. I stood there with my face burning, feeling totally embarrassed in front of the other officers. They all acted like I was invisible. I turned around and did soemthing totally out of character for me. I walked out of practice and stormed back to our locker room. I was going to leave but I didn't have a car since my parents and I were in the middle of WWIII over my boyfriend. I was going to have to wait for my mom to pick me up. So I went into one of the bathroom stalls and cried tears of anger and frustration that anyone who's had to suffer through high school can relate to.

Finally, I got a little worried that I would get in trouble for leaving without permission and I pulled myself together. I walked back into practice with puffy eyes and ready to fight. But I found the officers and our teacher just sitting in a circle talking as if they hadn't even noticed I was gone. But they stopped talking as I approached and must have surmised from my appearance that I was in no mood to discuss. So they said nothing and I said nothing and we went on our dysfunctional dance team way.

I actually had nightmares about that girl for about two years after I graduated and was disturbed to find out recently that she is the director of a high school dance team in San Antonio. I hope for the sake of those girls that she's changed and has realized that it's not about being perfect, it's also about having fun and trying to bring out the best in all the girls, not just the talented ones.


This post is in response to Jessie's Girl's call for the 'rudest thing anyone said to you'