just let them play!
When we moved to our new neighborhood, one of the first things I noticed was that everyone and their dog was up to their eyeballs in extra-curricular activities. I was overwhelmed when we got a booklet from our local rec center with pages and pages of classes for children and adults: gymnastics, sports of all kinds, painting, ceramics, karate, and on and on. What should I sign the boys up for? There were plenty of options from age 6 months on up. I couldn't decide, so I asked them. What do you want to do??? Nothing. They were not interested in any of the classes. They just wanted to be at home.
So I backed off. I thought, they're only 2, 4, and 6. They have plenty of time for sports. But every Saturday when we passed field after field with tiny people in fancy uniforms playing games, I started to worry. Should I make my boys sign up? Was I doing them a disservice by not forcing them? Maybe they just didn't know what they were missing and they would thank me for signing them up against their will.
Then recently, my Mom sent me a book called The Hurried Child. It was written over 20 years ago but as I read it, it was as if the author was describing my very own neighborhood. And he had some very different ideas about what was going on. He actually said, in not so many words, that little league was the enemy of childhood. What??? I thought. Blasphemy! But as I read on, he made so much sense. He described the different developmental stages children go through and explained that it is good and healthy for children to be given much free time to play with their friends and create their own games with their own rules. Making them dress up in uniforms and subjecting them to adult rules at a young age is not right. For children, playing is a stress-release and allows them a little freedom from all the confines they are subjected to on a daily basis. Instead of playing for fun, they now have pressure to perform from coaches and parents. He also discouraged organized sports for young children because he said that on any given team, there may be a couple of really good players, but often the rest of the kids feel inadequate and helpless and that leads to self-esteem issues.
I don't remember the last time I've seen a spontaneous game of kick-ball or anything else around here. It just seems like the parents are subjecting their kids to the same kind of rat-race they choose for themselves. Running from practice to practice and not even having enough time for real dinners together. Trying to keep their kids competitive and keep up with the Joneses. Is is really any fun?
I was discussing this with a friend of mine and she had even another perspective on it. She'd recently heard an interview with some soccer players from Spain or Mexico where they were discussing why America can't seem to turn out any real soccer stars. They surmised that American soccer players had no imagination or ability to "think outside of the box" because of the rigid rules they were taught to adhere to. In their countries, children were let loose to play on their own and that lead to new, creative ways of playing.
One last thing that convinced me to just follow my childrens' lead in this area is a visit we had with our neighbor, a former Washington Redskin. I asked him how he found out that he was made to play football. Did his Mom sign him up? Did she dutifully drive him to all his practices and games and cheer him on all the way? No, he said. His parents were both very busy working to support his large family. They didn't even have time to come to his high school games, but he did not expect them to. He was the youngest of six and had one particular older brother who gave him his first helmet and shoulder pads. He said that by the time he was in first grade, he was obsessed with football. He knew all the stats and drove his family and friends crazy talking about them. So basically, he chose football for himself and no one could have stopped him if they'd tried.
I know there are many parents who swearby the benefits of organized sports: team playing, self-discipline, building leadership skills. And I'm sure they are right. But for me, I'm going to wait until they are a little older and they ask me to get them on a team. What's the hurry?
So I backed off. I thought, they're only 2, 4, and 6. They have plenty of time for sports. But every Saturday when we passed field after field with tiny people in fancy uniforms playing games, I started to worry. Should I make my boys sign up? Was I doing them a disservice by not forcing them? Maybe they just didn't know what they were missing and they would thank me for signing them up against their will.
Then recently, my Mom sent me a book called The Hurried Child. It was written over 20 years ago but as I read it, it was as if the author was describing my very own neighborhood. And he had some very different ideas about what was going on. He actually said, in not so many words, that little league was the enemy of childhood. What??? I thought. Blasphemy! But as I read on, he made so much sense. He described the different developmental stages children go through and explained that it is good and healthy for children to be given much free time to play with their friends and create their own games with their own rules. Making them dress up in uniforms and subjecting them to adult rules at a young age is not right. For children, playing is a stress-release and allows them a little freedom from all the confines they are subjected to on a daily basis. Instead of playing for fun, they now have pressure to perform from coaches and parents. He also discouraged organized sports for young children because he said that on any given team, there may be a couple of really good players, but often the rest of the kids feel inadequate and helpless and that leads to self-esteem issues.
I don't remember the last time I've seen a spontaneous game of kick-ball or anything else around here. It just seems like the parents are subjecting their kids to the same kind of rat-race they choose for themselves. Running from practice to practice and not even having enough time for real dinners together. Trying to keep their kids competitive and keep up with the Joneses. Is is really any fun?
I was discussing this with a friend of mine and she had even another perspective on it. She'd recently heard an interview with some soccer players from Spain or Mexico where they were discussing why America can't seem to turn out any real soccer stars. They surmised that American soccer players had no imagination or ability to "think outside of the box" because of the rigid rules they were taught to adhere to. In their countries, children were let loose to play on their own and that lead to new, creative ways of playing.
One last thing that convinced me to just follow my childrens' lead in this area is a visit we had with our neighbor, a former Washington Redskin. I asked him how he found out that he was made to play football. Did his Mom sign him up? Did she dutifully drive him to all his practices and games and cheer him on all the way? No, he said. His parents were both very busy working to support his large family. They didn't even have time to come to his high school games, but he did not expect them to. He was the youngest of six and had one particular older brother who gave him his first helmet and shoulder pads. He said that by the time he was in first grade, he was obsessed with football. He knew all the stats and drove his family and friends crazy talking about them. So basically, he chose football for himself and no one could have stopped him if they'd tried.
I know there are many parents who swearby the benefits of organized sports: team playing, self-discipline, building leadership skills. And I'm sure they are right. But for me, I'm going to wait until they are a little older and they ask me to get them on a team. What's the hurry?
posted by Nicole | 5:47 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home