angels, ghosts and the devil inside

When I was in first grade, I awoke one night to see an angel sitting on my bed. We had a conversation, the contents of which I don't remember, and then I fell back to sleep. Then I distinctly remember dreaming about a line of angels in white gowns carrying candles, walking slowly in an unbroken circle around and through our church. As if they were guarding it. I remember telling my first grade teacher, Mrs. Sisson, about it the next day.

"I saw an angel last night," I said.

"Really?" She replied, but then changed the subject. Even as a six year-old I understood that she didn't believe me, but I didn't mind. I knew.

A couple of other small but strange things happened when I was very young. One day, on the way to my piano lesson in downtown Leavenworth, Kansas, I asked my mom if she'd ever seen anyone on a motorcycle get hit by a car . She said no. After my lesson was over that day, I recall walking down the street with her and hearing the sound of sirens. I knew in my gut what it was. As we came around the corner, a motorcycle was laying in the street and a man was being taken away in an ambulance.

On another day I was at the movies with a friend of mine. That was back when it was safe to drop your kid off at the theater alone and I was still no older than eight. My friend and I went to buy some candy and when the cashier added the tax, we were short a penny. Without even thinking, I walked over to a corner of the foyer, pulled back a loose piece of carpet, and found a penny there. It was sticky but I handed it proudly to the woman and my friend and I walked away with our candy.

I don't recall any other unexplained psychic events since then. Maybe as an adult my head has become full of other noises. Maybe I don't have enough quiet to really listen anymore.

But one thing I have discovered over the last couple of years is the show, Ghost Hunters. It has been my guilty pleasure to watch as often as I can. I love Jason and Grant and believe they are honest, skeptical guys who are just looking for answers. They have each had experiences with the paranormal that propelled them into their field, stories they won't tell anyone. I watch the show out of curiosity and wonder. I am a Christian and I believe in Heaven and Hell. But I also think there is an "in-between". Not purgatory, but something else. As a child I was taught that anything "in-between" is either demonic or angelic, and I don't think that is completely false, just maybe not totally true. I think it's more complicated than that.

From the show and other things I've read, I've become familiar with residual hauntings, intelligent hauntings, human and non-human entities and just plain old energy. Since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it only makes sense that it would be around even when our bodies are no longer living.

But why and how can it hang around?

Recently I was watching the show and thought to myself, 'I would love to go on a hunt with the Ghost Hunters!' I pictured myself in the dark with my EVP recorder and thermal camera, stalking down the halls of some ancient corridor. 'I feel a cold spot! My batteries are being sucked dry!' I would whisper...then see a full bodied apparition appear before my eyes...

Not long after that fantasy crossed my mind, I came across a website advertising the Ghost Hunters "Spring Thaw" retreat at none other than the Stanley hotel, here in Colorado. Less than two hours from where I live! It is even on my birthday weekend! But it is not cheap. I sheepishly mentioned it to my husband (begged) and he graciously told me to get a ticket. It will be my birthday present.

The Stanley is the place where Steven King wrote The Shining and it is the site of more than one very exciting episode of the Ghost Hunters show. There are ghost children who play in the halls of the fourth floor. There are spirits who open closet doors, grab your wedding ring off the bedside table and disappear into the closet, never to be found. There are ghosts in the basement and ghosts in the ballroom. And I can't wait to see what happens!

Thankfully, I have a very good friend who is also completely intrigued with the whole thing and she is going to share a room with me for that weekend. We will get to go to seminars, meet the celebrities, and even go ghost hunting with them from 10pm until 2am one night. Sadly, we have no real equipment, but at least we can scrounge up a camcorder and digital camera.

I really just want to see if anything happens. I'm not sure exactly why, but I think it may answer some questions for me. Or create new ones.